A Few Randon McNuggets

I was sitting around after work today pounding some ridiculously divine Peruvian chicken from a local slop house and I was pondering the following, "Man, I wonder why everything we eat has to have a dipping sauce?". I mean honestly think about it, is there much that we eat that doesn't have something we all know we can live without? Why is ranch dressing the epitome of every obese persons dream vegetable appetizer?

I mustn't confuse you with this ramble, I am certainly not the healthiest of eaters. In fact, I've had french fries twice in two days. Double in fact, I've fricken loved every bite of them. I'm just saying there is a point in time where you wonder if adding 100 calories to every bite of cucumber eaten needs to be slightly strapped down. Of all the vices in our world today, you'd think that grabbing the mayonnaise out of the "White, nasty shit that makes you fat" isle at Whole Foods would be one of the easier to fix. I could be wrong, but I bet my man Lebron James doesn't hire a personal nutritionist who allows him to load up on that stuff before a game.

Next point- similar subject- I always try to avoid white condiments as a general rule of thumb. Does anyone else get scared by these things? Now, many of you may say that is my homophobic side coming out (of the closet), but I assure you, I have no fear of the GLT community and little or no fear of things that remind me of my own semen. Shit just freaks me out, like how did they get it to be that color? That's not right. Even vanilla ice cream and frosting scares me. Ever seen a vanilla bean??? IT IS BLACK!!! WTF mate?

On a sadder note, I started a new job a couple of weeks ago... not as sweet as I thought. There's a part of me that thinks, "boy, if I had just convinced my dad I needed that extra year of college to grow into a successful adult", I could be drunk in a ditch somewhere right now. Wouldn't that be sweet? Seriously though, while I was looking for a job I was getting a little stir crazy just sitting around my apartment all day, but now that the weather is breaking I'm wondering if I should file for unemployment and test out my sea legs in Charleston with Steve. Honestly, I wasn't really living that badly while unemployed. I was still bringing in some bling bling from my old job and I got to play a lot of old XBox games. I even went to the Smithsonian Museum of American History and didn't eat fast food once. That's right, I avoided straying from my gluten free diet even though it woulda been sweet to pound a double cheeseburger and worth three days of the Screaming Meanies.

Anyway, that's all I got for right now. Plus, it's getting late and I'm sure Pornhub has been updated since last night. Until next time.....